With all of the money and hype surrounding Spider-Man 3, there must be a gem of a movie lurking at the bottom of Sony’s tangled web. Not according to critics, whose vitriol has spiked to levels unseen since Ishtar…
• The New York Observer: “Bloated and stupid, this movie is so bad you can’t even review it. Over-
produced, over-publicized, over-designed, over-
computerized and just plain over the moon, it’s so preposterously overwrought with so many bewildering plots juggling simultaneously for over-emphasis, there’s no entry point for criticism. You just stare at it, as you might a great big exploding pile of cow manure.”
• Dallas Observer: “It all just feels so… dopey and forgettable and crafted out of second-rate cheese.”
• UK Times Online: “This incessant Tom and Jerry action makes it impossible to actually care. The Sunday School morality, and the inevitable flash of the American flag, are perfectly irritating.”
• Philadelphia Weekly: “Bigger, louder, and a good deal longer than its delightful predecessors, Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man 3 makes just about every wrong move in the sequel playbook, substituting scope and scale for the warmth and wit that made those two previous pictures so memorable.”
• Film Jerk: “While Spider-Man 3 is not even remotely close to the title of The Worst Movie Ever Made, it’s [sic] schizophrenic pacing and apathy towards its audience’s acceptance means the film never needs to be seen more than once, if that.”
• Rope of Silicone: “Spider-Man 3 presents a world where people come into rooms, make heartfelt speeches, and then exit for no apparent reason while the other person looks off into the distance. It’s all a wacky attempt at Steel Magnolias (with webs) and it comes off as fully contrived.”
” RADAR, “Critics: Spiderman3 Worst Sequel Ever”